I received the gift of salvation on April 4, 1999 as a junior in high school. It was Easter Sunday and I had questions within my heart of whether I truly knew the Lord as my Savior. As a boy at the age of twelve I had been asked if I wanted to receive Christ with my cousins and so I went. However, as I grew up, I held onto doubts about whether I went to the altar that day because the church member had influenced me to go or as a result of Jesus Christ leading me to come. I remembered it fully, but I always had doubts until April 4, 1999. We had early service that morning and our youth pastor asked us to close our eyes and bow our heads. He gave a simple invitation and the Holy Spirit was weighing heavy on my heart convicting me of my sin and one question was resonating in my mind as I knew my life hadn’t portrayed what I had said I believed at the age of twelve, “Are you sure you’re really saved?” He asked us to raise our hands if there was any question about our salvation with the Lord. As vice-president of the youth group, I didn’t raise my hand because I was afraid of what he and others might think. The vice-president of the youth group is supposed to know if he’s saved or not, right? Wrong. I didn’t and that morning I didn’t raise my hand, but the Holy Spirit convicted my heart so strongly that as I returned home from church that afternoon, I fell on my knees beside my bed and asked him to come into my life and give me certainty that I could know forevermore.
I came from very humble roots and we had little while I was growing up, so as I became a young man, I dreamed that my life would be full of extraordinary things, such as owning a ranch, a nice car, a big house, and worldly treasures that today’s culture terms as happiness. However, as I’ve walked with the Lord, he’s shown only temporary happiness in these things and that Jesus Christ is the only true source of pure happiness that restores and divinely speaks to my heart in a new way every day. Jesus wired within me a big heart and with this big heart, big dreams. For what? I wasn’t sure, but I felt his call on my life ever since I was a young boy at seven-teen in the pulpit, speaking on behalf of my youth group. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, but God had burned a message in my heart for our congregation, which had fallen deep in complacency. I got up in front of the church and simply spoke. After fearing that I would lack words to say, I was surprised that it seemed so easy because that day God spoke through me. The man that I heard speaking, didn’t even seem to be me, and as I look back I couldn’t tell you what I said, but I knew he had greatly affected the body of Christ through me. From that point I felt God leading me into ministry, but I thought to myself that this couldn’t be the path for me, because coming from nothing, I was determined that I was going to “make something of myself.” And so, I dismiss it and traveled on, on a quest to do so as I walked and grew as a Christian until the end of my junior year of college.
I had joined a fraternity, Kappa Alpha Order, my freshman year, but after our charter was pulled by our national organization as a result of the poor decisions of a few, I began to get involved with the Baptist Student Union on campus. I spent about a year there making several friends, evangelizing the campus, and growing deeper in my relationship with Christ, but I found myself torn between two worlds: my friends in the fraternity world and my friends at the Baptist Student Union. There was such a contrast between the two worlds. I had stood strong for Christ even while living in the fraternity house but after I left, I began to have a burning desire to help those that I had seen wasting their lives in the drunkenness and carnival of temptations present in the fraternity world. As a result, I sought counsel from my new Christian brothers at the Baptist Student Union about reaching out to that world. After getting mixed opinions about doing so, I decided that the picture of Christ in the Bible was one of being in the world, but radically different from it and therefore I decided I would attempt the same. Now I was young and naïve and not very smart, but had a huge heart and desire for that world to know Jesus I knew. I went into this environment with no accountability, no one praying for me, and alone amongst old and new friends in the fraternity world. As I said before, I was young, naïve, and dumb and the result? Instead of changing that world for Christ, which was my intention, I began to be changed by the world around me. It truly was a slow fade. A slow fade that went from not drinking at all, to having a sip, to having a beer, and then before I knew it, I had blended in with the crowd around me. I was deceived. I had been blinded by my sin which I didn’t even realize until 3 years later after the Lord graciously brought me back to Him. So from the end of my junior in college until a year after I got out of college, I journeyed on trying to resist the temptation around me, but struggling to overcome the peer pressure that comes with the drinking atmosphere. Although I knew my actions were wrong and in spite of my failure to overcome the temptations which faced me, I later realized that God still used my faults and my failures to bring glory to Himself. He took my bad and used it for His good.
A year after college, I began attending a church that was just down the road from the community where I was selling houses for Pulte Homes. Little did I know the church was First Baptist Church of Woodstock and the Lord began to awaken me through the ministry of Johnny Hunt. The Lord used Pastor Johnny’s ministry and a mission’s trip to Africa with an organization called Dream for Africa, to begin calling me back to Himself and His intentions and plans for my life. Upon returning from the mission’s trip from Swaziland, Africa, for the next several months I seemed to be lost. I struggled with God’s will for me in Atlanta and asked that he would show me his will for my life. I had everything I had ever wanted and I had finally “made something of myself”, but yet I realized I had nothing apart from Christ. So I began to search, asking God to show me his will for my life. God began to show me that all through my life He had truly carried me to where I was that day. You see, I always knew the next step; middle school to high school, high school to college and then in college God walked up and handed me an internship that I wasn’t even looking for. You see, I was only at this job fair because I had to write a paper for a class I was taking. The company approached me, which was an incredible story within itself that time doesn’t permit me to tell, and the next thing you know, I was going to Nashville, TN for an internship. From there I was offered another internship the next year with the same company and my boss which I had become good friends with, got a promotion to go to Atlanta as the VP of Sales, and he asked me to come with him, which was a blessing in disguise because they ended up firing almost the whole Nashville division a month before I was supposed to go. My point in telling you all this, you see, is that I know and recognize that God has carried me through life. If someone looked at my life not knowing the details, they could quite possibly attach some kind of credit or merit to my perceived accomplishments, but that would be far from the truth. God has truly carried me from having nothing, as a young boy hanging out with the wrong crowd, to success around every corner just as he did Joseph. I haven’t done anything spectacular it was simply God providing, directing and blessing my life, which I, in no way have or do deserve.
As I returned from Africa and was searching for his will, I felt him saying to me in my quiet times, “JR, I’ve carried you your entire life. Now it’s time for you to trust me and give up that which you’ve desired since you were a little kid.” I saw the story of Peter and the disciples applied to my own life when Jesus was standing out on the water calling them to come out of the boat. It was as if God was saying, “JR, come out to me, trust me, and I’ll show you the will I have for your life.” And so I kept searching and I prayed and asked, at that time, my fiancé to do the same. God used Shane Russell, our marriage counselor at First Baptist Woodstock, when he shared Proverbs 3:6 with me. He said, “JR, don’t worry about what God’s wanting you to do; Just acknowledge him in all your ways and he’ll make your paths straight.” I then began to ponder on how I could acknowledge him in all my ways to the “N-th” degree, fully seeking him as he revealed to me his will for my life. That’s when I believe God laid Southeastern on my heart. I’ve felt the call at different times along the journey, but always rationalized why it couldn’t be true. I keep coming up with questions and statements like, “What are those who have seen me fall going to think of me?… People are going to think I’m crazy for leaving a job where I’m making good money to go to seminary… and anyways, I’m not good enough for ministry” The Lord crushed all these doubts and fears as I searched deeper in God’s Word at the greats in the bible and their struggles along their journeys, such as Abraham, Moses, David, and Paul. He left me with no excuse and I knew I needed to pursue him, but I didn’t know how.
Growing up in a non-Christian home, I had little or no guidance as I grew into a young man and was always searching for the answers on how to live as a man of God. I never fully understood what it meant until I came to First Baptist Church Woodstock. I was blessed to sit under the teachings of what I call giants of the kingdom of God such as Johnny Hunt, Danny Singleton, Dr. Jerry Vines, and Shane Russell. I watched these gentlemen; how they spoke, how they lived, and how they reached out to those around them. For the first time, I realized the war could be won and a man could live true and real for Christ. Over this time, my dreams and goals seemed to change from that of having wealth and security to desiring to be at the end of life with a purpose and an everlasting goal attained. When it’s all said and done, I don’t want to look back and have a lot of things, yet a life with no meaning or purpose. Ecclesiastes 2:4-10, 17 portrays my heart best in my greatest fear for the end of my life as it says, “Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” I’ve been blessed beyond anything I deserve and am grateful for the successes the Lord had given me: however, I’ve found no passion in pursuing the summit of the corporate mountain and I’ve by God grace, came far from that desire now.
The season of my life at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary was incredibly enriching. We were surrounded by solid biblical teaching and godly friendship that has sharpened us individually in our walks, as a husband and wife, and in our understanding of how we fit into the great commission. Upon entering Southeastern, I was sure that I was going to be a missionary in Africa, however the Lord had different plans. These plans included a season of darkness, not knowing where the Lord was leading, there was no light at all in understanding His will and as a result, I had to simply do all I knew to do and that was looking back at His faithfulness in my life, trusting Him, praying continually, sitting at His feet and reading His Word, while trying to see how and where He may be leading our family. I simply had to trust the Lord and reflect on His past faithfulness in order to take the two steps that were directly in front of me. With graduation on the horizon in August 2009 however, the Lord was faithful to reveal the gifts He had given me of counseling and preaching.Within that season, He also crossed my path with a good friend and dear brother, Pastor Jacob Green, whom I have had the privilege to serve with at Bethesda Baptist Church for the past two years. I will forever cherish my time at Bethesda Baptist Church and I'm thankful to God that He sent me to a church that greatly welcomed us with open arms, a sincere heart, and hearty portion of grace which allowed me an opportunity to be molded into the pastor I've become today.
The next season for life of our family will be spent engulfed in training for church planting. This season will not be an easy one. We will be taking a HUGE step of faith to become a resident of a church-planting residency program in Knoxville, TN. We will be taking a $35,000 pay-cut and I will have to supplement our income by working a part-time job and raising support. As of right now, I don’t have a job, we don’t know where we’re going to live, and we’ve got to raise $20,000 in two months to be able to survive. You see, there are many questions that need to be answered, but we are confident that this is the Lord's Will for our lives and where the Lord’s Will leads us, His grace will sustain us!
Many people and maybe many of you, will hear this story and say, This Dude is crazy! But I say no, this is the beauty of a faith that only God could precisely craft in us so that we not only have peace in this uncertainty, but great joy, knowing that our Lord is going to provide. Our prayer is that people would look on this situation and think we are insane and that that would create the opportunity for God to show up and proclaim to all who are looking on, that He alone is God and He is a faithful God who never forsakes His people whom He loves. In 2 Chronicles 20, there’s a story of King Jehoshaphat with three armies stacked against Him and he cries out to God, “These armies are stronger and mighty than we are and God, I don’t even know what to do, but my eye is fixed on you! And that’s where we are, stepping out with the faith that God has so graciously given us and we don’t know how are needs are going to be met, we don’t know the answers to a lot of questions that need to answered, but our eyes are fixed on our King! And some verses down in that story, God tells Jehoshaphat, “Do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord is the with you and this is not your fight, but His….station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord.” And Church, this is where we’re at….we are tremendously anticipating with great excitement How the Lord’s going to show Himself…it’s like we’re standing at the edge of the red sea and we know it’s about to part and this thing is going to be AWESOME! We feel like were in a movie theatre with popcorn and a coke and the curtains are about to open and we’re saying, “Oh this is going to be good…We’re about to see God show Himself as the mighty and strong God that He is!" How’s he gonna do it? We don’t know gonna do it, but we are confident that He’s going to for His name's sake!
The Lord has planted a deep desire in my heart for making authentic disciples of Jesus who make authentic disciples of Jesus. I am determined to leverage all that I am and all that I have in the remaining days that the Lord graciously gives me on this earth to do just that. We want to engage the culture with the gospel of Jesus Christ and by God’s grace; we pray that our lives can illuminate the contrast between the gospel and the traditional religion of moral behavior. We pray that we can teach people what it means to abide in Christ daily and live powerfully in light of the resurrection, realizing the freedom Christ has given us from the temptation of sin.
In the coming months and years, we will desperately need and genuinely covet your prayers, support, and encouragement. We will, by God's grace, continue to walk one day at a time, trying to trust and obey our King wherever He leads. We're so thankful that He is a Big God who can be trusted and that just as the following two verses proclaim...In Him, we have nothing to fear:
" But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."
- Is. 43:1-3
"Ah Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you..." Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah: "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"
- Jeremiah 32:17, 26-27
